Essential Details

Essential Details –

So, there is such a thing as TOO MUCH! Believe me, there is, it might not be the same line for every reader, but you can put a read off if you have too much description.

For Example-

Green grassy hills rolled by as we drove through the countryside. The roads were twisty, but the speed was calming.

If you close your eyes and picture the countryside, I would most likely say they will be filled with green grassy hills, with the occasional cluster of sheep or cows. The essential description is highlighted in yellow.

Green grassy hills rolled by as we drove through the countryside. The roads were twisty, but the speed was calming.

So now we have a piece of information we can build on. You want the reader to feel every sense in one sentence as the story moves along. This will create an atmosphere. I will go through one by one.

Sight – Hills and the Countryside will insight a vision the reader’s head you can build on. They are picturing a wide landscape, with forestry, bodies of water, green hill and probably blue skies. This will give you the foundation to build more on.

Smell – Next give the reader a time of the year. Is it summer time with freshly cut grass? Or is it autumn? Is it damp, has it just rained? It is an early morning dew clinging to the hills.

Touch – Are you walking through the hills, can you feel the grass? Is it sharp against your bare feet? Is it soft against your legs as you wade through waist-high crops? Or are you in a car, are you resting your head against the cool window? Are you holding onto your partner's hand in the back of the car? Something to make the readers feel against their skin they will feel connected to your characters.

Hearing – What is going on around your characters? Are there birds signing? Birds of prey calling? Is it raining? Is it quiet? Are their sheep around, and cows? Everything makes a noise. What about the car? Is it a good car? Does it sound healthy? You can change the atmosphere of the story with just a few words when you incorporate sound.

With all of these in mind, I am going to transform the sentence, using only essential description from the above categories.

The hills rolled by as we drove through the countryside. With the top of the car down, wind whistled through my hair, wiping it over my face. Screams of delight escaped my lips, as we ripped around the corners and bends between the Pine trees.

You can instantly tell the difference. Utilise the inclusion of essential description because it builds on the picture. In these two sentences you have described he place, set the time and the weather and added in a little bit of personality to the characters as well.